a pretty war

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:29:23 GMT

134.6
havent lost mch since yeterday at all.
today will hopefully be a better day.

Thu, 04 Sep 2008 15:41:05 GMT

134.8 this morning.

since then i have had
coffee-25cals
sugar free jello-5 cals
frozen dinner-210 cals
some cheese on top-25cals
mini piece of bread-50 cals
total 315 so far :(
its not even noon. i usually dont eat this much its just i am off today and have nothing to do so i think i need to eat, i dont though.

i did got for a 30 minute walk today, and ill walk again tonight and hopefully be able to skip dinner.

tuesday

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 11:15:12 GMT

135.6
i can get away with eatting very little today!! woo hoo

monday

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 02:46:45 GMT

today:
coffee-20cals
kashi cereal 1/2 cups-60 cals
coffee-40cals
cup of soup-70cals
4 saltines-55cals
lean cusine dinner-270
1 tbs low fat parmasian-30
1 froyo pop think-90 cals

total 635

a lot over what i should be taking in everyday but it was a long day i needed it, tommorow will be better.

i also did crunches and weights, no walkk though i suck.

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 13:16:54 GMT

136.5
i would like to be 132 in a week.
i think its achievable by eatting around 500cals each day and walking 40mins-1 hrs each night with crunches and weights on top of it.

Sun, 26 Nov 2006 22:39:35 GMT

today:
cereal-100 cals
apple-80 cals
yogurt-50 cals
salad for dinner no dressing just basically lettuce, tuna, one chopped mushroom,, 1/2 slice of cheese- 120 cals
total- 350
gym- 35 cardio 35 circut training approx 200 cals.. i really have no idea though.

i may have a special k bar or hot chocolate so either 90 or 100 cals later this evening.

100 here i come!!

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 00:53:43 GMT

today-

cereal-100 cals
soup-70cals
yogurt-60 cals
dinner- pizza, too many cals but purged.

gym burned 200 cals.

i am really amped for this gym thing. they weighed me and i am 123.

my goal weight is 100 so i have 23 ibs to drop and im hoping the gym will help.

i just get really uneasy at the gym and constantly feel like everyone is looking at me/judging me and i dont kow how to get over it.

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 00:21:38 GMT

today:

earl grey vanilla tea with 1% milk 25cals
1/2 whole wheat pita toasted with 1/2 can of tuna and green onion 150 cals
green tea with lemon juice
2 nalgene bottles of water with crystal light 10cals
pasta for dinner- purged maybe 200 cals tops that i didnt get out.
approx. 385 cals total all day.

walked as well as did ab crunches.

today was one of the first days where i was home all day and did not get the urge to binge/purge. I did really good restricting all day.

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 20:12:13 GMT

I have been having anxiety attacks all day long today. feel like i am suffocating. I am wearing new pants and they hit me around the bellybutton and i all i can feel is fat and stomach and it is disgusting.
i just want to get rid of it all and its killing me that i am not getting skinny and will probably never be

Wed, 18 Oct 2006 12:53:13 GMT

i have been having a bad couple of weeks just eating a whole lot of shit and it has been bad news but this week i went back on track.
yesterday i did good however i got a hot chocolate at tim hortons and in a medium there is 240cals or something along those lines and i didnt realize until i got home so now i am feeling shitty about that.
today though all i am going to consume is
my cereal for breakfest 100cals and a touch of lowfat milk.
tea ( i have switched from coffee to earl grey tea because it still has caffine but doesnt get me as jittery as coffee.
for dinner one of those campbells take a long soups or whatever they are called. blended vegetable which is 100 cals i do believe.

Wed, 27 Sep 2006 18:12:30 GMT

man i just had a close call

i was in the washroom purging what i ate for lunch when my dad came home and walked inside and i didnt hear him and he toally saw me. i said i was feeling ok but it was weird that i threw up and maybe i would take some pepto to calm my stomach. he totally believed me that i was just sick and i am so glad. i did however get most of my lunch up so that was good.
i have purged twice already today. eggs and toast for breakfest and now chickenfingers and kraft dinner for lunch. i dont know why i have been craving so much today i have been doing so well up until now.

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 21:47:16 GMT

coffee black for breakfest.
handful of cereal for lunch with a touch of skim milk for lunch.100cals
chipsahoy thisations for snack.100 cals
starbucks grande non fat caramel machiato 220cals
i am trying to consume as much water as possible to fill me up before going out to dinner because at the moment i am starving and am SO afraid i will give into temptation at the restaurant. i just have to keep in mind how good i will feel if i just get a salad though!

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 01:06:24 GMT

this morning i worked again and had coffee, green tea and 1/2 a botle of orange juice. 100 cals total.
then i had a dinner role and 2 slices of turkey breast. 200 cals at the most.
then a small choc milk. 150 cals.
then a veggie burger and corn for dinner. purged though.
so about 450 cals total today.

not bad i guess.

tommorow i have school which means i will just drink coffee all day and i walk 20 minutes to and from school. i may have to have a handful of cereal and non fat milk at lunch so friends dont comment,

i am going out for dinner after with friends so i am going to order a salad with dressing on the side because i dont like dressing to begin with so iw ouldnt get it anyways and just say that i had a big lunch.

i really need to buy a scale. my family doesnt really approve of them but i will just say its because its winter and i dont want to gain all my weight back this time.

off to do a bit of excersise before bed.

Sat, 23 Sep 2006 21:56:51 GMT

today i worked all day so all i had was coffee, green tea and water.
when i got home i had a pack of chipsahoy thinsations.100cals.
i just ate pizza and then purged of course.

i feel so disgusted with myself that i cant give up food. like i need to eat dinner even though i purge it back up it just makes me feel satisfied.

i need to start doing major ab work because i have lost a lot of fat and now i have gross skin that makes my belly look bigger because its all stretched and needs to be firmed/smoothed out.

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 14:55:47 GMT

Yesterday i did really well at not consuming a lot.

i had coffee and orange juice in the morning.
then a handful of cereal and non fat milk for lunch(hardly anything)
then i had fat free icecream in the afternoon(purged this though i just felt so disgusting for eatting it)
then for dinner all i had was a couple of bites of chicken breast.
then that evening i had a large mug of hot lemon water.

today will be a differant story as i am going out for dinner for my sisters birthday so that will definatly be purged as soon as i get home and i am going ot try and not eat throughout the day which is hard because i am home all day and tend to want to eat out of boredem.
i think i will just try and drink hot lemon water all day to keep myself thinking that i am consuming something.

as for thispitation i have started a book and started collecting pictures on my computer under a fashion file so that it just really looks like i like the pictures so noone thinks anything of it.

.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 16:09:33 GMT

have been consuming coffee, water a lot the past week.
i have been eatting only a handful of cereal for lunch with skim milk.
eating some sort of dinner and then purging because i cant get away with no eatting with my family/friends.

a lot of people have been noticing my weight loss over the summer now that i am back at school. a lot have been commenting and my close friends seem to watch what i eat.

i am not even skinny which is insane.

5'1" and probably around 125(dont own a scale)
size 5/6 jeans.

i guess it is just a big change since when they lost saw me.

ok that is all.

i am starting to enjoy hunger pains which has never been the case in the past. i feel like i am accomplishing somehting which makes em really proud.