havent lost mch since yeterday at all.
today will hopefully be a better day.
134.8 this morning.
since then i have had
sugar free jello-5 cals
frozen dinner-210 cals
some cheese on top-25cals
mini piece of bread-50 cals
total 315 so far :(
its not even noon. i usually dont eat this much its just i am off today and have nothing to do so i think i need to eat, i dont though.
i did got for a 30 minute walk today, and ill walk again tonight and hopefully be able to skip dinner.
i can get away with eatting very little today!! woo hoo
kashi cereal 1/2 cups-60 cals
cup of soup-70cals
lean cusine dinner-270
1 tbs low fat parmasian-30
1 froyo pop think-90 cals
a lot over what i should be taking in everyday but it was a long day i needed it, tommorow will be better.
i also did crunches and weights, no walkk though i suck.
i would like to be 132 in a week.
i think its achievable by eatting around 500cals each day and walking 40mins-1 hrs each night with crunches and weights on top of it.
salad for dinner no dressing just basically lettuce, tuna, one chopped mushroom,, 1/2 slice of cheese- 120 cals
gym- 35 cardio 35 circut training approx 200 cals.. i really have no idea though.
i may have a special k bar or hot chocolate so either 90 or 100 cals later this evening.
100 here i come!!
dinner- pizza, too many cals but purged.
gym burned 200 cals.
i am really amped for this gym thing. they weighed me and i am 123.
my goal weight is 100 so i have 23 ibs to drop and im hoping the gym will help.
i just get really uneasy at the gym and constantly feel like everyone is looking at me/judging me and i dont kow how to get over it.
earl grey vanilla tea with 1% milk 25cals
1/2 whole wheat pita toasted with 1/2 can of tuna and green onion 150 cals
green tea with lemon juice
2 nalgene bottles of water with crystal light 10cals
pasta for dinner- purged maybe 200 cals tops that i didnt get out.
approx. 385 cals total all day.
walked as well as did ab crunches.
today was one of the first days where i was home all day and did not get the urge to binge/purge. I did really good restricting all day.
I have been having anxiety attacks all day long today. feel like i am suffocating. I am wearing new pants and they hit me around the bellybutton and i all i can feel is fat and stomach and it is disgusting.
i just want to get rid of it all and its killing me that i am not getting skinny and will probably never be
i have been having a bad couple of weeks just eating a whole lot of shit and it has been bad news but this week i went back on track.
yesterday i did good however i got a hot chocolate at tim hortons and in a medium there is 240cals or something along those lines and i didnt realize until i got home so now i am feeling shitty about that.
today though all i am going to consume is
my cereal for breakfest 100cals and a touch of lowfat milk.
tea ( i have switched from coffee to earl grey tea because it still has caffine but doesnt get me as jittery as coffee.
for dinner one of those campbells take a long soups or whatever they are called. blended vegetable which is 100 cals i do believe.